Philippa's Recovery Journey

I had suffered from almost daily headaches since being in my teens, but just dismissed these and pushed through in the belief that headaches were nothing particularly unusual. When I was in my late twenties, I had a very nasty cough and cold and subsequently developed bronchitis. I was given antibiotics and told to rest in bed for a few days to recover but, when I started moving again, I felt dizzy with head movements and with walking. I had undergone ear surgery a couple of years before and had experienced dizziness/vertigo for two weeks following this, but then it had resolved and things had gone back to normal. Initially, I assumed the same would happen this time, but the symptoms seemed to get worse rather than better. As an audiologist, I felt I should be able to get myself better with vestibular rehabilitation exercises, but the exercises made me sick and, no matter how often I did them and how hard I pushed myself, I made no progress with this.

I was eventually given the diagnosis of migraine associated vertigo/vestibular migraine. This made sense to me because of my family history of migraine, my own recurring headaches and the fact that my symptoms were generally much worse at the time of my menstrual cycle. I struggled to walk as I regularly lost my balance but I did still push myself to go for a daily walk. I was, however, unable to drive and the dizziness significantly affected my ability to work. I saw neurologists and travelled miles to see an otoneurologist, who all confirmed the diagnosis, and I tried many, many preventative migraine medications to see if I could find the one that would stop the symptoms. This was a long process, as I was told to try each medication for at least three months to give it time to work. Over a period of nine years (with breaks from all medication for pregnancy), I was constantly trying new combinations of drugs but with only limited success. I also tried various ‘migraine diets’ as well as Botox injections.

After a few years of not being able to work properly when I was at work and with much sickness absence, I had to retire from my job and my life became more and more limited. I gave up on the daily walk that I used to force myself to do because it was just too exhausting and didn’t seem to help my symptoms. I was told that my migraine might improve during pregnancy, but instead I found that I developed intermittent speech problems as well as still having the dizziness. My speech could be effortful and slurred for days at a time, and people struggled to understand what I was saying. My family helped a lot when my children were young as I was too ill to look after them by myself. Sometimes people would tell me that my symptoms were stress related, but I would feel angry and insulted by this, as I had been at a good point in my life when the dizziness symptoms had started. I had recently got engaged and was planning a wedding and I had just started a new job which I really enjoyed.

After nine years of being very ill and disabled, I met someone who told me about her own experience of stress-induced symptoms. I initially dismissed this as not applicable to me, but she asked me if I was a worrier and a perfectionist and told me to look at SIRPA. I read ‘Chronic Pain: Your Key to Recovery’ by Georgie Oldfield’ and the evidence presented about the mind body connection surprised and inspired me. I thought there was a chance that this could help me. There were references to Dr Sarno in Georgie’s book, so I also read ‘The Mind-Body Prescription’ by John Sarno, and I started to journal.

Initially, I journalled for an hour or so a day about past and present stressors and personality traits and about whether there was a chance this could apply to me (though not about the symptoms themselves), using the format laid out in Georgie’s book. I also joined the Headspace app and started doing daily meditations after each journalling session as well as watching online videos about the mind body connection to reinforce the concepts in my mind. I slowly started to improve, which gave me more and more confidence in the process.

I remember well the thing that confirmed to me that my symptoms were indeed TMS and this was going on my children’s trampoline, something that I had previously regarded as unthinkable for someone with vertigo. I reassured myself that I was physically fit and well and I found that I was not feeling any dizziness! After a minute, I started to experience intense back pain and had to get off the trampoline, but to me it was apparent that this was an instance of symptom substitution as mentioned in the books, and it fully confirmed to me that it was TMS and that I could get better using these methods.

I have now been well for about seven years. I don’t take any regular medication but very rarely get any headaches or dizziness. I am able to look after my children by myself and I am back working as an audiologist. I go for walks most days and run on the treadmill regularly, all things that at one time seemed like an impossible dream.

Philippa Braund

Join people who have found relief through the SIRPA approach to chronic pain.