Maria's Recovery Journey

The following has been translated from Spanish using Google:

“Hello, my name is Maria:

I write this letter with the intention of being able to help all those people who suffer from TMS or Neuroplastic Pain and especially those who, despite having overcome an episode of TMS, have had relapses.

I sank (was there no solution?) They did not recommend surgery and told me that I had to learn to live with the pain. I stayed in bed for several months, very sad and almost fell into depression. I went to physiotherapists, chiropractors and traumatologists with whom I spent a lot of money with no improvement. I finally stumbled upon a bee venom therapy that helped me deal with the pain for several years. The pain did not disappear, but it decreased enough to start living a life that was almost normal, and little by little the pain disappeared.

Around 2002 I continued treating myself with bee venom and one day my apitherapist gave me the book “Free yourself from back pain” by Dr Sarno. I didn’t listen to him though, because the bee venom was enough for me. It freed me from the pain for long periods.

In 2007, my first child was born without any postpartum pain or discomfort (not even sciatica), I was happy, until in 2009, when I opened a sofa bed in my house. Again, I felt intense pain in my back that made me paralyzed. At first I was patient and tried again with bee venom, but it had less and less effect and I began to despair: My medicine no longer cured my pain! Now how was I going to live with that unbearable pain? I couldn’t sit down and my job consisted of sitting most of the time… does this sound familiar to you? Hahahaha. Now I laugh, but then I was really depressed and scared.

That was the moment when I carefully read Sarno’s book (2009) and began to see myself reflected. I tried to follow his advice and above all pay attention to the pain pattern, do other things and think: If this pain has happened on other occasions, now it will also pass…trust Maria!

By then I was no longer taking medication because it didn’t do anything for me, but I was really sad and enduring horrible pain every day. After reading the book my pain was less, although it persisted, and I was able to resume my work and personal life. Little by little the pain went away, by 70% I would say. My fear of movement never went away and I could endure the pain, but it still attracted a lot of my attention. I could live with that pain level though and I was happy for a long time, until 2011. This is when the pain returned strongly again when I jumped with my son on an elastic mat. I couldn’t sit down again.

I reread Sarno again: “Free Yourself from Back Pain” and “The Divided Mind.” “Heal the body, eliminate the pain. With this last book I had improvements and I identified with some stories that made me trust, but my pain persisted.  I went to work by bus and I suffered very strong pain: what was I doing wrong? Did I really have TMS or was I wrong?

I was desperate and decided to contact Dr Sarno to clear up any doubts and have him do an examination to know for sure if it was TMS or not. I called him to go visit him but his secretary sent me an email kindly telling me that Dr. Sarno was retired and no longer treated new patients and only followed up on his patients. However, in the United Kingdom there was a person who followed his line of work and who had learned from him. They gave me Georgie Oldfield’s contact details and I wrote to her. Georgie, in a very compassionate, understanding and kind way took care of me, picked up what was left of me and helped me get out of the hole.

I am immensely grateful to Georgie for her support. With her I understood my situation. She told me that I had TMS, and I believed it, and she gave me strategies to break the “Pain-Fear-pain” cycle. I started writing in a journal, junk letters and starting to understand my anxiety, stress and that my emotions were part of the process. I stopped being afraid of movement because I trusted what she explained to me (although now I see that I didn’t fully understand the process of Chronic Pain, how our nervous system works, neural networks…). However, I trusted that I could cure myself with the strategies that Georgie taught me and, little by little, it did! I remember when I got back on my bike and the feeling of freedom! I was climbing mountains again! It was incredible!

I resumed my normal life and got pregnant with my 2nd child. I had a normal pregnancy and I felt really happy. But it didn’t last long because at this time tinnitus came on. This was horrible, unbearable. I heard noises in my ears, day and night, it was crazy! They did all kinds of tests on me and I thought I had something stuck in my ear…but everything was normal. They gave me medication for anxiety and I decided to call Georgie who explained to me that it was also TMS.

Georgie made real efforts to understand us in our meetings with the help of her daughter who was living in Peru at the time and learning Spanish, plus with my dear friend Amaia, who also helped.

This time there was a practitioner in Spain who could help me in Spanish and who had trained with Georgie in England: Encarna Espuña. I did some work with her but, although my panic subsided, my tinnitus persisted. I began to do relaxation techniques that did not work either and so Encarna recommended I attend the P.A.R.A program (taught by Stella Maris Maruso), which was another turning point in my life. Then I began to investigate more into my personality, my fears, my perfectionist behaviours, my beliefs, I did very intensive inner work, meditation… and I managed to lower my anxiety. The stress along with my tinnitus were disappearing. I was getting my life and my freedom back!

Since then, I have had 10 years of peace, my life has been normal. During this time I have made important personal growth thanks to these practices that I have been developing. I have been so well that I had almost forgotten that I had pain, tinnitus… I almost forgot those years of suffering.

Until last September, bending down again, I felt a ‘whiplash’ in my waist again and the nightmare returned. I had forgotten what it was, but my brain hadn’t, and I fell into the trap again. I went back to the doctor, I took anti-inflammatories thinking it could be a new injury, but the pain got worse. In October, it had become much worse with the pain running through my body and my legs, and I panicked. What is this? The pain started where it always did but spread through the middle of my body towards my feet.

My head was crazy worrying about a thousand things. Could it be a new injury? The doubts and fear returned! I told myself: I hadn’t been cured of the pain forever, had I? I panicked again, I remembered what had happened again and I didn’t want to go back there.

Very nervous, one morning when I couldn’t relax I decided to reread my books, and I asked myself again, what is happening in your life? I read Georgie’s book again, to resume writing, the junk letters, to investigate my emotions, to practice the techniques of feeling my emotions.

I went into the TMS wiki and saw the information that had been posted in Spanish over the years. I was pleasantly surprised and immersed myself in reading. I came across new books in Spanish that talked about TMS and the evolution of the approach it has had over the years, now they call it “Neuroplastic pain”! How Sarno’s theory has evolved! , the new concepts of, “neural networks” “Wrong alarm”, “somatic monitoring”, “pain cycle”….it comforted me to read all this, because my inner voice was telling me:

Maria: you’re not wrong! Do not hesitate!

I think I have read all the books in Spanish published so far and I have stayed with the ones that give me my answers and the techniques that help me the most. In December I no longer had pain, in January I had a small relapse that I managed to overcome and today I can say that I am pain-free and empowered again! Because now I know how to get out of the pain on my own if it comes back. Now I know that it can come back, but I also know that I can get out on my own, and that I am the owner of my well-being!

I am immensely grateful to Dr.Sarno and Georgie for being brave and tenacious in their beliefs. For their books in Spanish, which were the first I read, and especially to Georgie for everything she taught me to get out of the fear-pain cycle and mindbody connection. And to all the chronic pain professionals who have passed through my life, especially those who have translated their documents into Spanish and all the people who have shared their experiences for free.

I want to make special mention of Dylan Fray who has shared his podcasts for free to listen to, since at the moment there is very little to listen to in Spanish and I think it is a wonderful concept to educate our mind, (Sarno, and Schubiner already had their resources in English and I really missed that they weren’t in Spanish when I was in the middle of suffering).

Today I have also read Alan Gordon, Kevin Martillo, Encarna Espuña, Schubiner, Arturo Goikoetxea, Federico Montero and others. And I really feel grateful for starting to expand all this knowledge in Spanish-speaking countries, finally!!

I look back and remember when I had nothing to hold on to except Sarno, it’s been 22 years!!  I am very happy to know about all this evolution. This is a gift for me because it comforts me and today I can say to myself: Maria, you were not wrong!!! You just had to trust what your body was telling you, get out of the environment, beliefs, …you just had to listen to your body, and break the cycle of fear, stop paying attention to the pain and live! So simple and yet so difficult!!!!

Recently in my health center this knowledge in traditional medicine is being taught!!! In the health centers!!! Incredible! This makes me very happy, it is finally starting to reach everyone and I feel that this is going to change the view of things about chronic pain for everyone!

From here I encourage all people who suffer TMS relapses and become discouraged in their process or have doubts. Now I know that relapses can be normal and that, by learning from them, it is less and less difficult to get out of them. I believe that those of us who suffer from TMS or (Central Sensitization, Neuroplastic pain etc…as they call it now) have a special capacity to feel and be resilient.

Today I believe that despite the pain we have suffered we have been lucky because every time we fall into pain we grow as people. I think we have to take this as a treasure, a barometer that is warning us that something in our life is not going well, that we still have to change course or that our nervous system is simply making a mistake and it is an erroneous alarm.

In my case, until now pain had been a suffering that appeased my life. Now I know that it is a warning that something has to change, that something is not going well in my life or that my alarm system is simply making another mistake.

And nothing else happens! And it has a solution.

From now on, if that notice appears, far from being a suffering, I know that it is a treasure that helps me understand and continue learning and be grateful for life more than ever.

Thank you very much, Georgie, for your bravery and for having been a key part of my path!

And thanks to all of you who in one way or another have been part of my path.

A strong hug.

Maria.

After decades of recurring back pain, tinnitus, fear, and relapses, Maria used mind‑body work, education, and emotional healing—guided first by Georgie Oldfield and also supported by other practitioners—to break the fear‑pain cycle, overcome her symptoms, and ultimately reclaim a confident, empowered, pain‑free life.

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